Bittersweet

Tonight I'm sitting here after putting the boys to bed reflecting on the day, and my heart feels so full it could burst. But, it's the strangest thing, at the same time I feel a little sad because I know life won't always be this way. While our life isn't perfect (i.e. we live in a house that cost about the same as Justin's boat and truck put together, and we are DYING to build our "forever house") I have a strong suspicion that when I am at the end of life's road and look back over my journey, this time in my life, these few fleeting years when my children are young and adore me and their daddy, will be my very favorite years, and I know I will miss them sorely. I'm betting that if, on my deathbed, I were to find a genie in a bottle to grant me one wish, I would choose to come back here to my tiny house with my teething baby and my soon-to-be three year old in time-out.



What brought on all this mushiness, you ask...



Today I took the boys to the grocery store, which is something I try to avoid doing because it is 100 times harder to shop with two kids in tow, but it was unavoidable today. So, I got one of those car-type carts where they sit in the front, and there's a little window that you can see them through when you're pushing the cart. It was so sweet to watch them take turns driving with the steering wheel. Every so often Dallas would kind of slump down in the seat and Ty would help him get back up. So sweet. At one point they both looked back over their shoulders at me through the window and smiled. My heart about broke with joy and love for them, but it made me a little sad too. One day I'll be walking around the aisles by myself when they're grown, and I'll see a mom struggling with young kids in the cart and I'll think of my little boys' faces looking back at me from the grocery cart today. How bittersweet that will be. (As an aside, it's worth mentioning that by the end of the shopping trip they were both crying, and Ty even asked the lady in front of us at the checkout to get him out!)



If anyone knows how to stop time (or at the very least slow it down a little) please let me know!!